How To Fly With Sex Toys

Does the thought of flying with sex toys have you singing the Smuggler's Blues? Fear not, Dear Traveler. We've done this A LOT.

Hard Time: Let's get one thing straight - If anyone is going to slap some cuffs on you, it should only be because you ask them to. Traveling with sex toys is NOT illegal unless you happen to be visiting the Maldives, Thailand, Vietnam, or Saudi Arabia.

No Shame: In the rare event your bag does get searched, take a deep breath and repeat this mantra: "I am not the first person to ever fly with a sex toy." Now exhale. Folks, your TSA agent is not going to hold up your dildo like a prized fish in a Tinder profile. But if the thought of a surprise search gives you the cringies, better to pack it in your checked luggage.

Carrying On Correctly: Keep it short and sweet. According to TSA, it’s perfectly legal to travel with sex toys in your carry-on baggage as long as they are 7 Inches or shorter. But don’t fret, Size Queens! There is no length limit on toys packed in checked bags. That means you're free to pack anything short of a traffic cone.

The 3-1-1 Rule: Come on, shouldn't we all know this by now? TSA allows you to pack 3.4-ounce containers of liquids inside a clear quart-sized bag. Just keep it moving through that security line, we all have places to be.

Batteries: Remember – Airport security isn’t at all concerned with your battery-operated friends. They are, however, very interested in bombs, which can look a lot like your suspiciously vibrating bag. That means, always remove the batteries from your electronic toys before packing them. Or better yet, bring toys that use a built-in travel lock.

The Bare Necessities: This is your vacation, Baby! Go ahead and pack everything, including lingerie, lubricants, butt plugs, bondage gear, and whatever kinky fuckery strikes your fancy. After all, nobody wants to waste their valuable time searching for a gimp mask abroad.

Happy Trails!