Guest Post: The Most and Least Fabulous Parts of the Swinging Lifestyle

We have now been participating in the swinging lifestyle for about nine months, and what a roller coaster it has been!

Some of our experiences have been the most sexy and exhilarating times of our lives. Other experiences have left us confused, frustrated, or simply surprised.

First, we will outline our absolute favorite parts of the lifestyle, the reasons we revel at the chance to continue exploring as swingers.

THE BEST PARTS:

Meeting New People

Because of the lifestyle, we’ve had the opportunity to connect with people from all walks of life, from all over the country (and even internationally!)

We’ve been able to pick photographers’ brains about online marketing projects, ask application developers about their newest projects, and speak to media producers about trends in movies and television.

We’ve also met people who we view as lifelong friends, people who understand us as a couple in a way that our vanilla friends couldn’t quite grasp. This has all been thanks to meeting couples and singles with the intentions of potentially swinging.

The human interactions that can be gained from participating in the lifestyle can be both rewarding and enriching. It’s a fantastic way to meet like-minded friends that you know won’t judge your sexual proclivities.

The Intensified Connection With Your Partner

If you and your partner are a good fit for the lifestyle (and are doing it for the right reasons), you’ll likely find that sexual interactions with others bring you as a couple even closer together.

From our perspective, there are two major reasons for this: First, you are communicating more about fun and sexy things, focusing energy as a couple toward things that bring you both joy.

Second, you’re instilling an extreme amount of trust in one another. You are trusting your partner to be open and honest with you, to respect your boundaries, and to always keep your best interest at heart.

That giving and receiving of trust, at least from our experience, builds a certain bond between swinging couples that few other things will.

The Heightened Sexual Attraction to Your Partner

Let’s face it, life gets messy! Between work, kids, household duties, and any of the other 1,000 adult responsibilities, it’s easy to lose the spark in a long-term relationship.

You find yourselves talking about anything but sex, so when it comes time to have sex, you can have trouble seeing your partner as a sexual being. However, observing another person’s sexual desire for your partner has a way of reminding you how sexy he or she can be in your eyes.

For me (Brenna), the idea of another woman desiring Brian turns me on like crazy, because it makes me appreciate his sexuality in ways that most vanilla couples will never understand.

Swinging gives us so many opportunities to focus on each other as sexual beings, rather than as roommates or sharers of responsibility.

Plus, as an added bonus, we are able to use our sexual encounters with others to fuel our own sex lives for days or even weeks following an interaction.

We re-live these experiences together, talking about what we enjoyed most, as a form of real-life erotica. Trust us, it’s hot!

Learning New Things About Your Own Sexuality

Swinging has opened both of our eyes to what turns us on most. For example, I (Brenna) always knew that I was attracted to women, but I had never acted on that desire before we started swinging.

Now, going down on a lovely lady is one of my very favorite things to do. Not only does it make me feel incredibly sexy, but it’s the perfect way to put on a steamy show for my man.

Brian has had his own sexual revelations, discovering through the swinging lifestyle that he loves hotwife scenarios, in which he “shares” me with other men.

Swinging opens so many doors for sexual exploration. Threesomes, foursomes, orgies, swapping, voyeurism, exhibitionism: The world becomes your sexual oyster once you start swinging!

The Less-Than-Ideal Parts:

Flaky Swingers

The has become a running joke in the lifestyle. “Better set 3 dates for Saturday night, because at least 2 of them will cancel on you.”

Dealing with flakes can be quite frustrating. Not only do we feel bummed, but it can also be a huge time and money waster (especially for out-of-town dates).

Picture it: You set aside a rare Saturday night without the kids or other engagements. You get all dressed up, ensure that your hair and makeup are perfect, set a dinner reservation, only to get a text 20 minutes before you expect to leave the house saying that your swinger dates need to back out.

We will say, there are many ways to spot flaky swingers (email us for more info on this). But if you are in the lifestyle for any amount of time, we almost guarantee you will be flaked on at some point.

Social Stigmas

The sad reality is that many (likely, most) swingers must hide their sexual interests from co-workers, friends, and family. We’ve heard horror stories of swingers losing their jobs, or worse, their loved ones, because the wrong person found out about their lifestyle.

What results is a highly secretive nature of most swingers: They won’t post their faces on their online profiles, they whisper about the lifestyle when meeting new friends in public, and many won’t even play in their own hometowns!

We hope and believe that societal views of swingers are starting to improve, but the day we are able to openly talk about our lifestyle without worry of repercussions is still in the very distant future.

Expenses The Outrageous

Consider the costs associated with just a basic swinger “date”: Babysitter fees, Uber rides, dinner, and drinks. Then, consider that most swingers will at some point attend larger lifestyle events, adding in costs like grooming, costumes for theme parties, event charges, hotel rooms, and possibly even airfare!

In order to actively participate in the lifestyle, some level of discretionary income is a must. The expansive costs swinging can be quite surprising to newbies, as many associate swinging with just having sex. Although it is possible to budget and participate in a frugal way, it’s far from easy!

Overall, we are passionate about this lifestyle, because it has brought an immense amount of positivity and excitement to our lives. For us, the positives will always outweigh the negatives.

About the Authors: Brenna and Brian are the hosts of the sexy and informative Front Porch Swingers Podcast. If you have further questions on the swinging lifestyle or any of the issues presented here, check out their website at http://frontporchswingers.com 

Guest Post: Beginner’s Guide to Male Sex Toys

Sex Toys for Men Guide

Gone are the days when the word ‘sex toy’ just meant dildos or vibrators for women. You don’t have to be a woman and single for the past few months to qualify as someone that wants to use a sex toy. Fortunately, the world has opened up a lot when it comes to sex toys. The sex toy industry has also evolved a lot in the past decade and finally men have started getting a bit of a taste of the action.

So, before we get into the specifics, let’s talk about one small thing. We know that as novices to sex toys, many man feel a bit reluctant to try them out. Regardless, sex toys aren’t something that you need to be ashamed of. It doesn’t matter whether you’re using them solo or with your girl, you’re perfectly okay using sex toys. We openly invite anyone that trashes sex toys to at least try them once. We can guarantee that you’ll keep coming back for more and more.

So, if sheer embarrassment is what was keeping you from jumping on the sex toy train, then don’t worry and hop on over, it’s an amazing ride.

Types of Male Sex Toys

There’s a long list of male sex toys out there for men but the main categories are as follows:

  • Masturbators
  • Cock Rings (they’re not just for guys who need help with maintaining an erection)
  • Penis Pumps
  • Prostate Massagers
  • Sex Dolls (they have come a long, long way from blow up dolls)

These are just the main types. But, for all you newbies out there, we’re going to only talk about the two which newbies should check out.

Masturbators

Masturbators are great for all men that are tired of their own hand. These little bad boys are actually replicas meant to seem like the real deal. They’re usually molded to feel like vaginas, asses or mouths, and sometimes even molded similar to famous pornstars for twice the fun. These masturbators are made from a skin like variant of silicone so they feel more natural and realistic.

Masturbators are usually just a small lump of silicone, but if you’re looking for something much more technically advanced, you could venture in the world of fleshlights. Fleshlights are a more modern version of masturbators and instead of just skin, they’re like a vagina in a big flash light, hence the name fleshlight. The design is way more realistic as well as more comfortable. Some even have vibrators inside. So, don’t worry about running out of options, there are enough masturbators to keep you busy for a long, long time.

If you’ve been masturbating and wishing it felt better, masturbators like fleshlights are for you.  I guarantee that it feels a hell of a lot better than masturbating with your hand because male masturbators actually feel like you’re having sex.

Prostate Massagers

Basically, for you guys that don’t know what a prostate is, it’s like the male ‘g-spot’. It’s a small walnut shaped organ about three inches deep in the anus. Most men can reach it with their hand pretty easily. But, the folks that can’t do that easily or prefer a much more intense sensation can use a prostate massager to do the exact same thing.

The reason why prostate massagers are even a thing is because massaging the prostate can provide an orgasm in the same way as a stroking the penis does. But, the difference is that an orgasm by stimulating the prostate is much more intense than a standard orgasm.

If you’re looking for even more fun during solo play, you could consider getting a prostate massager with a vibrator. The vibrator ones are pretty serious stuff. You just stick them in and leave them there as they do their job much more efficiently than you ever could on your own.

I get the whole reluctance of straight guys to stick something where the sun doesn’t shine but you all must be curious what it feels like.  I was really reluctant as well but my curiosity got the better of me and I haven’t looked back.  It feels great!  You get the opportunity to have a different type of orgasm and it’s brilliant.

Closing Thoughts

If you’re just stepping into the world of sex toys, just grab any toy you can find and we’re certain that you’re not going to want to step out of your bed for the next few days. But, if you really want to get in there and get the most fun you possibly could, just grab a masturbator or a prostate massager and you’re going to be good to go.

About the author

Will is a straight male in his 30’s who loves testing different types of sex toys for men.  He runs the blog https://mrwillshouseofthrills.com

THE NAUGHTY LIST: 12 DIRTY GIFT IDEAS FOR LAZY PEOPLE

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A special delivery from jolly old St. Prick.

Christmas is looming and you’ve got an extra special stocking to fill.

Unfortunately, your local shopping mecca looks like a scene out of the Lord of the Flies and you just can’t seem to pull on your sweatpants and face the mayhem.

Nice job. You are officially the laziest Elf on the Shelf.

Lucky for you, we’ve done the holiday heavy lifting for you with a list 12 sexy  gifts guaranteed to turn your Christmas Fail into Christmas Tail.

Best of all, you can make the magic happen from the comfort of your keyboard. (And you won’t even have to put on sweatpants.)

WOMANIZER LIPSTICK VIBRATORS

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Why? Because her lipstick can’t make her orgasm in 60 seconds and neither can you.

BODYWAND GIFT SETS

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Just like plants crave Brawndo, clits crave 120 volts.

Bodywand’s one-and-done love kits contain their famous 120 volt vibrators, plus an assortment of hardcore romance bait like rose petals, tickle feathers and satin blindfolds.

 MONOGAMY HOT AFFAIR GAME

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If you think monogamy is scary, read up on Ashley Madison’s data breach and get back to us.

This couples-focused board game provides over 400 steamy ideas and 50 fantasy “affairs” to keep sexual boredom (and divorce proceedings) at bay.

GAIA ECO-VIBRATORSBL81922

Eco-sex warriors can save the earth one orgasm at a time with Gaia’s Eco Vibrator.

Safe for the environment and her punani, the Gaia Eco is the world’s first biodegradable and recyclable vibrator…because landfills are the opposite of sexy.

STRAP-ON HARNESS SET

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If only you could find her the perfect gift that combined her love of fashion and showing daddy who’s boss. If only.

REMOTE-CONTROL VIBRATORS

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Want to put your control issues to work? Slip a remote-controlled vibrator in her stocking. Quiet and discreet enough to hide under clothing, these panty ninjas can be operated through remote control or smartphone for stealth-mode public play. (Dennys? The DMV?)

You can show off your sexual mastery with no skills required. Instructions are simple: Just push the button, you lazy bastard.

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY TOYS

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Sure, you can dismiss this erotic trilogy as Mommy Porn, but with over 60 million copies sold worldwide it’s the most likely reason she locks herself in the bathroom with her Kindle for hours.

This Fifty Shades of Grey toy line is couples-friendly so she can reenact the whole gamut of kinky fuckery she reads about- with you.

GLASS CANDY CANE DILDO

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Ring in the holidays with 8 inches of Christmas cheer.

This curiously festive glass wand will make an unforgettable impact when displayed in a Christmas stocking (or your Grandmother’s china cabinet.)

BROAD CITY “BOSS BITCH” G-SPOT VIBE

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Some women live for Sunday brunch mimosas, Uggs and Lifetime Network Christmas specials. If this describes your partner you may proceed directly to Bed, Bath & Beyond..right after you clean your browsing history.

In sharp contrast, there exists a different breed of woman: one who enjoys fart jokes, dick pics and smoking blunts in front of Comedy Central. If you find this rare snowflake, gift her this Boss Bitch from Broad City and proclaim your undying love.

GOOD CLEAN LOVE ORGANIC LUBE

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If you’re planning on sliding down anyone’s chimney tonight you’ll need to bring solid lubrication.

WE-VIBE

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Her sexual response is complex as a finely-tuned Stradivarius that only great musicians can master, while yours brings to mind a cymbal-banging monkey.

Bridge the orgasm gap with a We-Vibe.  This smartly-designed sex toy is designed to make shared orgasms attainable

CAESAR SEX MACHINE 2.0

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Are you considering buying a piece of outrageously expensive home equipment for your significant other? A word of advice: Stairmasters are for people who miss Skymall.  Fuck machines are for closers.

That’s why you need the Caesar. With the ability to churn out up to 200 James Brown-level thrusts per minute, this unstoppable candy-colored beast will leave no hole unplundered..

AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.

Making Masturbation for Men More Fun

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According to the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, 78% of all American men aged fourteen and over admit to having masturbated at some point in their lives. This number rises to 93.4% when men reach their 30’s, clearly, almost all of us masturbate.

But for some reason a lot of men still don’t talk openly about masturbation and the ways that they can improve it. While some women chat frequently about vibrators and dildos, the same can’t be said for guys about prostate massagers and penis sleeves.

In this article we’ll be hoping to change that. We will look at what makes masturbation fun, how you can improve it and the toys that we would recommend. Manual masturbation is a lot of fun, but with a toy or two you can elevate your pleasure to another dimension.

What Makes You Enjoy Masturbation?

Masturbation is all about stimulating as many nerve endings as possible so that your body can achieve orgasm. The most sensitive part of your penis is actually the tip of your foreskin, but if your circumcised then it will be the upper rim of the skin behind the head of your penis.

Regardless of whether you are cut or not, you have plenty of nerve endings throughout your penis which are stimulated when you masturbate. The friction of moving your skin up and down causes extra stimulation to your nerves, resulting in an orgasm.

But your penis isn’t the only erogenous zone on your body, your testicles and also your prostate are able to provide pleasure too. In fact, prostate play stimulates far more nerve endings and results in much stronger orgasms than just touching your penis.

Improving Masturbation

If you want to improve masturbation by achieving a stronger and more pleasurable orgasm then you need to stimulate more nerve endings, for a longer period of time. The first tactic for doing this is to stimulate both your penis and your prostate.

These two places are the most sensitive and have the biggest effect on your climax. Your prostate can be stimulated with your fingers but more effectively by toys, which we will cover later in this article. Doing both simultaneously is the true path to an overwhelming orgasm.

Secondly, you should practice edging to maximize the pleasure that you receive during a single session. Edging is the practice of taking yourself as close to an orgasm as possible and then backing off, calming down and then getting going again.

This has two effects; allowing you to enjoy the build up over and over, plus, making your body more sensitive, resulting in a stronger orgasm when you finally let yourself climax. To edge properly you need to be slow, patient and use plenty of lube. If you don’t you are likely to accidentally climax, missing out on all of the pleasure.

Benefits of Sex Toys

The primary purpose of sex toys is to give you more stimulation and therefore pleasure than you could otherwise achieve manually. If we look at both penis toys and prostate toys both exist to stimulate your nerves more.

This can be achieved in two ways; by adding more pressure or friction and by applying that pressure more frequently. With penis toys the added friction is key whereas prostate toys generally work by vibrating stronger and faster than you could use your fingers.

Penis Toy Recommendations

Penis toys are often the first type of sex toy that men buy because they are easy to understand, not particularly taboo and are fun to use. The most popular male sex toy by far is the Fleshlight, a brand of sex toys that mainly produce penis sleeves.

They’ve become extraordinarily popular in the last few years because they create body safe, high quality toys that are sold at a reasonable price. However, what really sets them apart for their competition is their pornstar range.

Many of their toys use anatomically accurate moulds of popular pornstars, making it seem like you’re having sex with one of your favorite girls.

One of our best selling Fleshlight products is the original Pink Lady, one of the first Fleshlights and an all-time favorite. This value pack comes with everything that you need to get started, including a bottle of lube, toy cleaner, the shower mount and the Fleshlight itself.

The Pink Lady sleeve is their most basic option, it doesn’t have any of the textured insides that some of their other toys have, but this makes it ideal for beginners. If you’ve never used a Fleshlight then you might be surprised at how tight and stimulating they can be.

However, if you’re looking for a more intense experience then we would highly recommend that you try the Alexis Texas Lotus toy. Modeled after Alexis Texas, one of the most popular pornstars of all time, this toy is far more intense than the Pink Lady.

The sleeve itself that bumps, ridges and gaps, which will stimulate your penis from all different angles as you insert yourself into it.

Everything’s better in Texas.

The Lotus sleeve is one of the most highly recommended Fleshlight sleeves because it offers a great balance between intensity and comfort. With  an insertable length of 10 inches, this toy is ideal for guys of all different shapes and sizes.

Compared to other brands of masturbators the Fleshlight series is extremely popular. Most masturbators are static, whereas the Fleshlight is interchangeable, meaning that you can buy new sleeves and change them out for a complete different feeling.

Plus, with some of the most interesting and stimulating sleeves on the market you are going to enjoy far stronger and more enjoyable orgasms.

Prostate Toy Recommendations

If you want to try out prostate toys then there are two main categories to consider; plugs and massagers. Plugs are great for beginners because they aren’t overly stimulating, whereas massagers can deliver huge amounts of pleasure.

The Aneros Helix stimulator is arguably one of the most well known male prostate stimulators. It was designed by medical professionals to sit comfortably in position and rock back and forth, putting pressure onto your pressure as you masturbate.

Unlike a plug the Aneros Helix doesn’t provide constant pressure, it’s more similar to a vibrator but because there is no electronics it’s more gentle and natural feeling. This makes it the perfect choice for men who have never explored prostate play before but who want a toy that can give them a more intense feeling when they desire it.

On the other hand, the Fuzion XChange Anal Vibrator was created to give you mind-blowing orgasms. It’s an incredibly powerful vibrator that has two different probes, three vibrations and seven settings.

This vibrator is the ultimate in prostate pleasure.

Made out of body safe silicone, the Fuzion XChange vibrator has a gentle curve to it which ensures that the tip of vibrator sits directly on your prostate. While the Aneros Helix gives you a gentle stimulation, this vibe is going to make itself known.

The great thing about this toy is that with seven different pulsation settings it’s perfect for men who are more sensitive but also for those that want to most powerful stimulation possible.

Yes, your phone can even do THAT: Meet the Remoji App

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Ladies and Gentlemen, the future is inside you.

Our little friend REMOJI™ is here to escort you into the new world of App-Controlled Sex Toys.  Are you ready?

Crowdfunded on Indigogo by the mad scientists at Picobong, this novel sex toy app remotely takes control of a full line of rechargeable remoji vibrators and, perhaps, your sex life.

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REMOJI™ is a spunky yellow cartoon character who happens to possess a great deal of erotic know-how..and some wicked dance moves.

Imagine stimulating your partner’s nether regions using this perverted Pac-Man as your sexual proxy. If that doesn’t provide you with a raging geek boner, what will?

Like most offerings from Pico Bong,  this app-compatible REMOJI™ toy line is colorful and wildly different from most sex toys on the market, but what really sets it apart is its ability to be used out of the bedroom.

That’s right, REMOJI™ products are discreetly designed for “public sex” (though please take care that a public tryst with the REMOJI™Blowhole M-Cup doesn’t win you a indecency fine.)

According to Steve Thomson, CMO of PicoBong™-

“We want to revolutionize sex lives by making phones part of foreplay and not a distraction from it. REMOJI™ certainly brings a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘vertical expression of horizontal desire.’ Just imagine using this app, paired up with a sex toy, out in public at a restaurant or club. You can be playing with the app and no one will realize you’re actually controlling a sex toy; they will all think you’re just playing a game.”

REMOJI™ has six different modes to satisfy all music tastes and sexual appetites with pre-set vibration patterns that move to the tempo of your favorite music style, be it alternative, techno, dubstep, hip hop, jazz, or punk.

And you thought you were glued to your phone before…

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See the Picobong Remoji Diver, Surfer, Lifeguard and Blowhole