Looking for a candle-lit ode to self-lovin? 

Then we strongly advise you to resume your knitting and avert your delicate eyes to this blistering 104 minute DVD. You may be shocked at the kind of techniques that make plain old masturbation look like a Nun's piñata-party. Within minutes of introducing the concept of the “dark art” our favorite over-40 babe is drilling heavy machinery into her nubile young assistant with the unabashed glee of a mad scientist.

Watch Nina poke, prod and probe her bewildered prey with an arsenal of fucking machines and clit pumps in terrifying detail. You'll also get a side of education with your kink as she patiently explains the ins-and-outs of masturbation with the calm efficiency of a nurse. (Nina is, in fact, a registered nurse, Over-40 Babe and Adult Hall-Of-Fame star.)