Adult Sex Toy Advice For Couples

Adult Sex Toy Advice For Couples

If you're interested in using sex toys with your partner, experimenting with the ones you already own is a great place to start. Here's a few ways to incorporate sex toys into your shared bedroom routine!

Adult Sex Toys For Couples

They come in virtually every size, shape and color. They can adopt the form of basic, inexpensive hardware or luxury Objets D’ Art. We’re talking about sex toys, friends, and if you’re reading this article there’s a good chance you have more than one stashed away in your bedside drawer, or you should. No longer relegated to seedy sex shops and the back pages of adult magazines, they’re available almost everywhere, and in greater variety than ever before.

Thanks to luxury intimate lifestyle brands like We-Vibe and Jimmyjane, they’ve even become something of a status symbol, (leading us to wonder what kind of gold-plated vibrator Beyonce carries in her Birkin bag.) According to a report from Chicago’s Berman Center, nearly half of adult women currently use adult toys or have tried them in the past.

So with this rampant sex toy revolution in full swing, you’d think every couple must really be getting their buzz on..right? Well, not exactly. While many women in relationships own toys, not all feel comfortable using them with or in front of their partners. Some might even feel guilty for using a one while in a relationship, based of the mistaken assumption that toys are only for “single, lonely people.”

And while many men are keen on the concept of their partners using toys, they may feel self-conscious when it comes to asking to join in. If you happen to be a couple that feels ashamed or awkward when it comes to using sex toys together, we kindly ask you to take a deep breath and get over it. Toys are made for sharing (didn’t we all learn that in grade school?)

Introducing a toy into your sexual routine is a great way for you to enhance your relationship, and not just on a physical level. Toy play with a partner demands a higher level of trust and intimacy and that can carry over into other areas of your life together as a couple. So now that we know the “Whys,” let’s explore the “Hows” with a list of common adult toys and how they can be used with your partner. Couples, Start your engines!!!

(Gay and Lesbian couples- this article is primarily directed towards our hetero friends, so clutch your pearls and play along. We’ll have more for you to enjoy later.)

Classic Vibrators – “Ol’ Faithful”

This basic, cylindrical style of vibrator is what most people think of when they hear the word “sex toy.” With their round tips and smooth shafts they can be inserted for vaginal stimulation or rubbed against the clit and labia. These vibes are a great opportunity for her to explore a little exhibitionism because most men LOVE watching a woman masturbate. Not only will it give him a great visual “how-to” on how she likes to climax, it can also be a huge turn-on for her.

Now here’s an important pubic service announcement: In the heat of the moment one of you might be tempted to slip one of these little bad boys into his or her backdoor – but just say no! Unless your vibrator is specifically designed for anal sex (with a wide safety base) it can easily disappear into the rectum and turn your sensual evening into a trip to the ER.

We’re sure you’ll laugh about it later but it won’t be a story you’ll want to tell when you gather ’round the grand kids.

Small Hand-Held Vibrators – “Girl’s Best Friend”

Classic external vibes like the Pocket Rocket have long been a popular way for women to get their kicks. If a Le Wand Massager is considered the “Ferrari” of sex toys, these mini vibrators would be more like the “bicycle with training wheels.” Small, cute, cordless and inconspicuous, these vibes can easily be slipped between a couple during sex to target her clit.

And, because of their discreet, portable nature, they can be slipped into her purse or his pocket for those last-minute quickies. He can apply a vibrator to her clit while licking her vaginal opening and perineum (otherwise known as the “taint), and she can apply the vibrator to his scrotum while she gives that good, good oral lovin’.

We should also point out that while most men find vibration pleasant they just don’t enjoy it in the same way that women do. That is, unless we’re talking prostate play (but more on that later.)

Larger Wand-Style Vibrators – “The Clit Whisperer”

All about the power, products like the Magic Wand and the Miracle Massager are a godsend for vibration-hungry clits and women who have difficulty reaching orgasm. They can also build a guy’s confidence in bed because wands are pretty fool-proof when it comes to partner play.

With their larger, rounded heads and deep, penetrating vibrations, there’s no worries about “finding the right spot.” After her 3rd toe-curling orgasm, that magic wand will make him feel like an all-powerful sex wizard. For her, these vibes work wonderfully during sex when held against the pubic bone in the cowgirl position.

Or, she can lay a wand on a couple of pillows and grind her hips against it when he’s penetrating her doggy-style. Can you say “simultaneous orgasm?”

Vibrating Cock Rings – “Half Man – Half Machine.”

Guys, have you ever looked at your girlfriend’s vibrator and thought “Why can’t my penis do that?” It can.

  Here’s how a Vibrating Cock Ring works: A stretchy cock ring slides over the penis, while an attached mini vibrator vibrates     her clit during sex. Because of their relatively small size, vibrating cock rings won’t deliver as much vibration power as a     standard-size vibrator but they’re still a great way to enhance intercourse.

Anal Vibrators – “The Journey to Uranus”

Great for both men and women, vibrating beads and probes can deliver completely different (and amazing) sensations that can be enjoyed as foreplay or the main course. Vibrating plugs can be inserted into the anus and then left in during sex or masturbation for added stimulation and more intense orgasms.

And, taking the time to explore his prostate (the male g-spot) can be a great way for her to focus on him. We’re all so “phallocentric” that we often forget that men have more than one pleasure zone! The prostate is one male hot spot that usually slips under the radar, but it’s a surefire way to provide him with a earth-shaking, full-body orgasm (not unlike a G-Spot orgasm for her.) Speaking of which..

G-Spot Vibrators – “Make it Rain”

The clit isn’t the only game in she-town. In the pantheon of female pleasure, the G-Spot is a little like the Holy Grail – mysterious but hugely rewarding. One of the best way to target this area is with a G-Spot vibrator. The combination of pressure from their curved tips and fast, rhythmic vibrations can trigger G-Spot orgasms and (if you’re lucky) female ejaculation..colloquially known as “squirting.”

For men, mastering the G can require time, sensitivity and a whole lot of patience. Want to know more? Check out our Guide To Female Ejaculation, grab a G-Spot vibrator, and proceed to impress the hell out of her with your new found carnal knowledge.

Wearable Couple’s Vibrators – “Look, No hands!”

U-Shaped vibrators like the We-Vibe, Lelo’s Ida and the L’Amourose Lana are designed to stimulate a woman’s body inside and out during solo play or during P-in-V sex. So how does it feel to him? Well, his penis and the vibrator will definitely get to know each other since they’ll both be inhabiting the same space but when it comes to wearable vibrators like these, the focus is more on her G-Spot and clitoris. Most men find the vibration uniquely pleasurable - just not necessarily orgasmic.

Remote-Control Vibrators – “Love from a Distance”

Whether you’re using an insertable bullet or vibrating panties, these remotely-controlled sex toys are bound to inspire all kinds of naughty shenanigans. Remember the restaurant scene with Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler in “The Ugly Truth”? Judging by it’s forgettable ratings, probably not. But, it did illustrate the explosive scenarios that can happen when a woman wears a remote-controlled vibrator in public.

Intrigued the idea of locked and loaded panties? Slip on a pair, hand him the remote and see what kind of trouble you can get into!

Dildos – “The Ins-And-Outs”

What’s the difference between a dildo and a vibrator? Simple! One vibrates and one doesn’t. Though both can be used for penetration, vibrators are electronically-powered while dildos are “people-powered.” Additionally, many dildos are realistically shaped like a man’s phallus. While some men might see a realistic dildo as unwelcome “competition” in the bedroom, many guys are turned on by seeing their lover penetrated by a big, realistic cock (other than their own.)

Think of that dildo as a third partner, without the awkward post-coital small talk. That said, dildos are generally based on the concept that all women can climax from penetration. Fact: Not every vagina magically erupts with pleasure immediately upon insertion. If only life were so simple. While some lucky women can come from vaginal penetration alone, most need a little clitoral stimulation to achieve the O-Face.

If she likes penetration but requires clit stimulation to orgasm, couples can partner a dildo with an external vibrator. He can drive the dildo while she handles the clit business. Sex is all about teamwork! If your dildo has balls or a flange-base you can also use it for butt-play. (Just cover it with a condom before you share it.)

Adult Games – “Play together, Slay Together”

A great way to enhance a quiet evening at home, a good bedroom game can inspire romance, laughter and fun – even when you’re not in the mood. Games like “Fantasy Affairs”, “The Monogamy Game” and “You & Me” can give curious couples a great opportunity to communicate and learn more about each other in a fun, non-threatening way.

Generally more romantically sexy than outright sexual – Ultra-Kinksters may find games naughty board games a little pedestrian for their tastes (but they could stand to lighten up.)

Nipple Toys – “Perk up your Foreplay.”

Nipple play is usually assumed to be the domain of women, but guess what? Men have nipples that like to be stimulated too! Male or female, if you enjoy the sensation of having your nipples squeezed, slapped, nibbled or pinched, clamps are a great option for hands-free nipple play. For those who are more about pleasure than pain, there are also Nipple Suckers. These create strong, consistent suction – minus the pinch.

A hint: Before you jump into a game of titty bingo, try to take your nipple play slowly. Gradually build the intensity to match the tempo of your foreplay because the closer to orgasm you are, the more sensation your nipples can take.

Strap-On Dildos – “Get your Peg On.”

Strap-On dildos let women get in the driver’s seat. Apart from the obvious thrill of role reversal, female-on-male strap-on sex is also a great way to stimulate his prostate. Alternately, HE can wear a strap-on when we wants to see what it’s like to sport a bigger cock or when problems like E.D make it difficult to perform.

If she’s open to double penetration, some male strap-ons leave the penis and balls free so he can penetrate her vagina and ass with his cock and dildo simultaneously.

Sex Furniture – “Creative Sex Terrain”

You don’t have to be a circus contortionist to enjoy wild sex positions! If you want to get more out of your sex life, there are sex cushions, wedges, ramps and mounts that make experimenting with new positions easy, painless and fun.

"Use sex toys to amp up arousal and to explore diverse sensations on all areas of your body. Don’t limit your sexuality and pleasure to the few sensations a mouth, tongue, hand, or orifice can provide”

- Dr. Chris Donaghue

Oct 20th 2022 C. Ressi

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